a week

Returning to e-world after almost a week...what A WEEK ??
yes indeed !

Earlier week was in front of computer and then there was no computer ...hmmmmm

It was a week of..national conference filled with presentations and talks, eye openning events.... visiting a new place .. getting away from routine.. meeting old friends..having a good time in general..and some jolts too ..
Got to do many things..
A week in chicago :)

Spring is here..everything looks beautiful, flowers are blooming with all the possible colors filling beauty in each and every corner ..so is life beautiful??
i have heard that ..know that too and now trying to make it as beautiful as i can :)

...written yesterday ..posting today ..

Today after many days...i saw the evening turning into the night..
The sunset and the twilight…

Today after many days..i saw pleasant weather..
I saw people on the roads… where I was lonely all this while..

Today after many days .. I saw some flowers blossoming too …
Whereas in past I had seen them getting dry..

Today after many days ..i saw life..
The grass has become green …which was dead all this while

Today after many days …I saw birds, a squirrel and a cat
They all had come to play their act...to add on to the charm ..

Today after many days….I could feel the warmth and I was filled with joy from within…
You opened the gates to the eternal happiness
How thankful and grateful I am to you, who showed me the beauty of life !

can it be called a poem or is this still a scribbling by wandering soul ....

Whats going on ..

It happened yesterday and it happened in the morning too ...there is something so beautiful happening ..

This connection with plants,air,water,animals,birds ... and everything in general ..

There is this happiness, this joy, this bliss..exploding out from everything that i see or feel .. a beautiful experience ..Even made me write few lines..which i dont have with me now but will post soon ..

I guess it was all there and has been there and will always be there.. may be i was too busy to notice it .. or may be i have different eyes to see it all together now .. either I can keep wondering.. or i can be there and just say ..I am happy :)

Phir se mausam baharoon ka aane ko hai .. phir se raangein zamaana badal jayega ...

A song from a dear friend

Got this song from a dear friend ..
felt nice to read and thought would put it here too ...

The light of my life's been stolen
I've walked in every shade of black and I never thought I would get me back
It's funny how life can change you and make you who you are today
I wonder if God set it up that way for me to be

Strong even when it hurts
The heat it's gonna burn gotta let it burn
Strong, strong
To make a big mistake now I've run away

There's nothing like this feeling to be free and unafraid
And who ever thought I could be this brave
Learning every day

I wanna push away the boundaries
I wanna love outside the lines
I wanna stare at the sun I don't care if I go blind
Whatever comes, whatever breaks, I'll stand up straight

circle of life - past present future

life --past present or future

Today after speaking to you, the real you whom i have known all my life and who had begun to seem like a stranger in this strange world.. who was back yet not back in complete sense and this time it made sense ..complete sense .. may be i lost you in a way .. may be i never had you and will never have you .. but somehwere i had u, have u and will never loose you ..
I cried and cried for reason that is not yet clear and may never be ... but now there is this peace ..

Always discussed never resolved issues seem to be resolved after years and years of struggle and pain ..what was special today, this year or month or day or the date ... it was just a moment .. a moment which completed the circle .. the circle of you and me ...

may be the issue doesnt exist anymore ..life has moved on and in the present there are no more issues, no place to make something happen or change or hurt ....

It took such a long time and the journey was very difficult ...you may never know this but i think somewhere u do and u did .. you accepted the changes and i didnt ...knowingly unknowingly it worked today a change has been accepted or it had been accepted long back but now is the time to accept that it was never an option ..life doesnt always offer you to choose sometimes certain things happen and you can do nothing about it ..who has control over bigger things in life...

so we reached a place where there is no more you and no more me..we finally achieved it .. we coexist at a place where we accept that we dont coexist in many ways yet the lost spirit is back and the real purpose of the coexistence is understood and the purpose again is wishing happiness, that lies not in past or not in the search of better future but lies in today... the present !

teri ankhoon se hi -- muntazir

Another ghazal by jagjit singh, brings out some sweet emotions filled with this pain, the pain which one goes through when someone's love is lost.Even though the time has passed, the memories have not faded out even the wounds are still fresh and the pain has not been overcome completely and the poet is asking how long will this go on ..aakhir kab tak?

Teri ankhoon se hi jaagein, soyein hum
kab tak aakhir ..kab tak aakhir ..
kab tak aakhir ...tere gamm ko royein hum ..

waqt ka marham zhakhmon ko bhar deta hai
sheeshe to bhi yeh patthar kar deta hai
raat ko tujh ko payein.. din main khoyein hum ..

har aahaat par lagta hai tu aaya hai
dhoop hai mere peeche, aage saaya hai
khud apni hi, laash ko kab tak dhoyein hum ..

amma's .....

Thought of the moment..These are displayed at amma's homepage, www.amritapuri.org

Read it after a long time and i am just listing few of them ...


"The mind and thought waves interfere with true experiencing."


"Concentration stops the flow of thoughts. When thoughts stop, the restless mind ceases its activity."


"Amidst sorrows, the only thing that enlivens us is optimistic faith. Never lose that faith."


"Faith is a strong feeling in the heart that cannot be logically proven.


"Love has no complaints; it accepts all."

—Amma

through it...

"If god brings you to it, he will bring you through it" .. I just happened to look at this saying hanging on my wall. It always makes sense to me but only after struggling with things and today was no different..

Today it was in form of music that i got through. I always knew that it has effect on me and makes wonders. Heard some melodies which were long forgotten ..Lately have been trying to keep myself busy with things that i like to do and at the end of the day make me happy and its going fine.. while working on one such thing...i was stuck somewhere and was asking people whom i know how to get through one techincal glitch ! I feel , sometimes when we are willing to do things, help comes and from no where ..

One such thing happened..through this blog.. knowingly or unknowingly ..but its been great since then ..I am learning new things and the source is unknown but at the same time doesnt seem like a stranger. I take the liberty to even call u a friend as you have been one in its own way ...Thanks dear friend, for your time, for your kind words, for answering the questions, for your company which u gave unknowingly ...even i sometimes wonder how ? and then there comes an answer that there is still lot of goodness around and i am trying to reach there too. Hope soon !

Always with you in your heart ...

Compassionate is the word that gives a glimpse of her, yet who she is ? is still a mystery..Always full of energy and life.. Caring and loving.. always inspiring, always uplifting, always smiling ..sometimes shows anger...when we make mistakes..this anger doesnt last for long .. there she is smiling again... Calm and Peaceful ...

She has these eyes, which are so powerful..that once your eyesight matches with hers ..it peirces the heart and the soul.One reaches a place where there is complete silence and only bliss ... then the person is an open book... completely transparent...she know the past, the present and the future .. Yet she acts as she doesn't know anything.. Innocent as a child and then again in the very next moment she might say something which you and only you know ... one can just surpass what she says sometimes when you dont know who she is ...but the person soon realises what had been hinted when one goes through that..

At the times of trials and tribulations,when her love is questioned.. Inspite of that, she comes running to you with so much of love and explains, "Sometimes we are faced with small obstacles which help us avoid larger obstacles in the future.The biggest trials and tribulations are actually lessons to teach us to be more careful in the future or to exhaust some of our karma."".and when the heart longs for her physical presence..there she comes to you and says close your eyes and see i am with you ... will be there.. always there in your heart ..

I am going to be around ..

After the roller coaster ride, happened to touch the grounds ..

In the process, opened Pandora's box and all the stuff was just kept the way it was left the last time it was opened .. no movement at all ..so came across the long forgotten gifts like" i am going to be around " and one more, well as the gifts were dear, they were opened. Flash back and there goes the person into the memory lane and was lost in past, till the phone rang and brought the person back to the present..

The gifts were so beautiful and thought of sharing them here but fortunately or unfortunately, the source got lost where no body knows. I guess the Pandora's box is closed and locked with no keys left to even open it again..all that one has now are the glimpses of those gifts...

Was it a dream or reality? .. may be a reality which due to changing times seems like a dream...

aaj phir

Aaj phir dil bahut udaas hai ..aaj phir bahut tanhai hai ..
unki yaad aate hi dil ne chaain, ankhoon ne neend gawai hai

Aaj phir woh saare dard jaag uthe hain .
aaj phir unse juddi har cheez yaad aayi hai ..
woh hasein pal, woh dard bhi..woh pyaar, aur unki bewafai bhi yaad aayi hai ..

Ek taraf koi har pal khushi se bita raha hai ..
to ek taraf koi ek ek pal gin gin kar guzaar raha hai .. maut bhi kahan usse apna bana paayi hai
Gar pyaar kiya the ek saa .. to ab ek ke hisse yeh tanhai kyun aayi hai

Ek ne aaj apne jeevan main naye rang bhar kar khushiyoon se holi manayi hai
to ek ne aaj beraang ho kar kahin, holika jalai hai ..

ek koshish kuch likhne ki

aaj phir

Aaj phir dil bahut udaas hai ..aaj phir bahut tanhai hai ..
unki yaad aate hi dil ne chaain, ankhoon ne neend gawai hai

Aaj phir woh saare dard jaag uthe hain .
aaj phir unse juddi har cheez yaad aayi hai ..
woh hasein pal, woh dard bhi..woh pyaar, aur unki bewafai yaad aayi hai ..

Ek taraf koi har pal khushi se bita raha hai ..
to ek taraf koi ek ek pal gin gin kar guzaar raha hai .. maut bhi kahan usse apna bana paayi hai
Gar pyaar kiya the ek saa .. to ab ek ke hisse yeh tanhai kyun aayi hai

Ek ne aaj apne jeevan main naye rang bhar kar khushiyoon se holi manayi hai
to ek ne aaj shayad akele saab rangoon ko mitta kar kahin, holika jalai hai ..