happy living

On this journey called "LIFE'
some of us get so engrossed in things that we forget to "LIVE".

We are aware but we pretend to be unaware, we are awake but we pretend to be asleep....
and in that state how can one live ????
when someone alive pretends to be Dead.

some go on like this till the end, and some realize it at some point or are made to realize, which ever may be the way, That realization is must in order to live !!!!


"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"


"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

Happy Living..!!!!!!!!!

Nice ...

Read this somewhere and liked it and liked it so much that Here it comes to my blog

Life is short......
Break the rules.......
Forgive quickly...........
Kiss slowly.........................
Love truly...................................
Laugh to heart's fill.........................
And never regret anything that made you smile.......

summer day memory

The ER visit

Emergency striked as as soon as in the morning, as soon as she realized that the shoulder can't be moved, the arm is in terrible pain .. it cant be lifted up

calls to health centers were made .. no appointments
then came the docs offices .. no appointments till two weeks
it takes two freaking weeks to see a doc inspite of having health insurance

what is this system ???

brought her down to tears ...
thanks to a wonderful friend who helped when it was needed the most ..

ER : emergency room is the option !
was it really a emergency ... not to the outer world but it was for the one in pain !

called up someone special and home ..shed few tears .. missed home like anything ..

It was so easy to see a doc ! who wants to live here all life ???

well few min later regretted it .. coz what can people do from so far ...

when one takes decisions to leave home they got to be responsible for themselves ..

called up again to make everything sound fine now .. don't how much that would have helped

anyways .. went to the room .. they take 4 - 5 X rays prescibe few medicines ..and send the patient home and all this takes almost 5 hrs of the day ...

dont know where its all leading ... but the trip to ER will be memorable went through the most scary roads of the st louis .. picked up the wrong hospital i guess ...

now will be one tough job to get hold of a good physician .. seems like there are no appointments till march 09 with few ...

what can a person do in such situation ..

I guess just be thankful that it wasn't so serious .. thankful that luckily have friends who stand by you and have loved ones who are with u if not physically in mind for sure ..

above all the grace of god which brings you through such situations ...

monday to monday

Roller coaster week, saw it all ...

from meetings to weddings to funeral

what is life all about !

life and death
celebrations and sorrows
happiness and sadness

we dont know what gonna happen the very next moment, then why do we feel so much in control, when actually we don't have control and we cannot control ....

Things happen ..............not always as we wish them to ............

what is this all about .. what are we running after and for what..

movie marathon weekend

saw three movies this weekend
starting with a movie which i wanted to see for long, but for some reason always missed it. Until a friend mentioned it and i watched it, got engrossed so much that finished it before i slept on friday night .. Ijjazat !!! a 1982, Nasserudin shah, Rekha and Anupama patel starrer.. a classic piece of work by Gulzaar sa'ab ..Loved the songs .. I have liked them for long ..hummed them .. sung them ...

Next was a spanish movie .. I don't understand the language, but i love the way it sounds and the movie is "Butterfly" what a piece of work, unique subject, wonderful direction and flawless acting.

The sunday was wrapped up by, The last lear .. a very theater like movie , It was a story of an actor a theatre actor ..about his passion for work ... some strong actors .. with amazing performance ....was captivating !!!

and there were more on TV.. which were watched here n there ...

Start where you stand

Start where you stand and never mind the past,
The past won’t help you in beginning new,
If you have left it all behind at last
Why, that’s enough, you’re done with it, you’re through;
This is another chapter in the book,
This is another race that you have planned,
Don’t give the vanished days a backward look,
Start where you stand.

The world won’t care about your old defeats
If you can start anew and win success,
The future is your time, and time is fleet
And there is much of work and strain and stress;
Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,
Here is a brand new trial right at hand,
The future is for him who does and dares,
Start where you stand.

Old failures will not halt, old triumphs aid,
To-day’s the thing, to-morrow soon will be;
Get in the fight and face it unafraid,
And leave the past to ancient history;
What has been, has been; yesterday is dead
And by it you are neither blessed nor banned,
Take courage, man, be brave and drive ahead,
Start where you stand.

By Berton Braley

Someone special said something that striked my heart and while thinking about it, i got a printout which was on my desk for many days may be a year and when i read it , i see this beautiful poem. Today it has a different meaning !

चाँद फिर निकला ( chaand phir nikala)

चाँद फीर निक्ला
और आज पूरा सफ़ेद चेहरा लीये हुये
चांदनी के साथ

Chand phir nikala
aur aaj poora safaid chehra liye huey
chandani ki saath

चलो फीर, उस चाँद की रौशनी तले
देखें हम आकाश को,
हाँ उसी पेड़ की शाखाओं के बीच से
देखें हम उन तारों को,

उस बैंच पर बैठे
एक दूसरे का हाथ थामे
ब़स रहे बैठे हम
रात भर, एक दूसरे के साथ

Scribbled by wandering soul in the mind ..
while enjoying the company of his soul
At the lakeside on a beautiful full moonlit night !!!

Live in the present

LIVE IN THE PRESENT :

A honeybee spends all his time, energy, and life working to store honey.
But for what reason? In the end, all that precious honey gets taken away and eaten by others!

Similarly, it is a waste if we spend all our lives planning and hoarding for the future.

Not even a second of the future is in our hands.

Therefore, live in the present. We are the present.

Leave the future in God's hands. He will look after everything.

What we are meant to undergo, we will undergo.

What we are to receive, we shall receive.

Be satisfied and happy with what you have at present.

Try, my children wholeheartedly. - amma

I read this in amma quotes two days back .. found it so perfect for me, as if it was written for me ..
I also realize that, Its not easy to always do that, human mind always plays tricks with him .. but its upto us to control that mind which wanders from past to future ... but we got to make it stick to present .. and thats why amma in the end writes try my children ...and try wholeheartedly ...

Zindagi kya hai -- koi baat chale

ज़िंदगी क्या है जानने के लिये
ज़िंदा रहना बहुत जरुरी है
आज तक कोई भी रहा तो नही

सारी वादी उदास बैठी है
मौसमे गुल ने खुदकशी कर ली
किसने बरुद बोया बागो मे

आओ हम सब पहन ले आइने
सारे देखेंगे अपना ही चेहरा
सारे हसीन लगेंगे यहाँ

है नही जो दिखाई देता है
आइने पर छपा हुआ चेहरा
तर्जुमा आइने का ठीक नही

हम को गलिब ने येह दुआ दी थी
तुम सलामत रहो हज़ार बरस
ये बरस तो फकत दिनो मे गया

लब तेरे मीर ने भी देखे है
पखुड़ी एक गुलाब की सी है
बात सुनते तो गलिब रो जाते

ऐसे बिखरे है रात दिन जैसे
मोतियो वाला हार टूट गया
तुमने मुझको पिरो के रखा था

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Maikade

I had recorded few songs at one point of time and they were recored with a really low quality mike and on windows recorder.
Thanks to someone special who made me convert them from wav to mp3 format and then introduced to esnips.I just uploaded this song called maikade from Hariharan's collection ..
just a trial to see if it shows up in my blog !l

so when i click on the link .. it doesnt take me to the proper link .. i tried :( but couldn't

so i uploaded the link .. so the blue rectangular thing that u see right below the title ..
If u click that .. u get to the right place and listen to the song ..

well i will figure it out .. and that will be my next post !!!

http://www.esnips.com/doc/21456e64-d5d4-4366-a7c4-97b54dfa024e/maikade

OK ... IT has Failed ... so there is no song here !!!

time flies ....4 years !!!

Happens to be aug 1st ..

I left home 4 years back on the same day ...

4 years wow !!!

Time flies, ....

i saw this butterfly sitting on this pretty flower,
outside my school ...
all ready to fly ..

It looked so beautiful, that i wanted to capture it in some frame...
It could not do justice to the moment ..
but it did gimme something to remind me of this beautiful gift of nature...
i was asking this butterfly to pose for me before it flies and it did ..

dont have a title for this ...

There it comes again
with lightening and thunder storm or
with flashes of light and series of sound
alerting everyone around

Announcement is made of the arrival
Marching it comes rain..rain..rain..
yes its going to rain again !!!

something that i had scribbled on a paper with a pencil,
sometime, when ??? i don't remember
it had come naturally thats all i remember ...
l

Guru Kripa hi kevalam

Today is Guru Poornima and i am thinking of ammachi, she is with me always but today i am thinking of her as Guru, I remember the day when i got my mantra diksha and then all the times i have spent with her flashed in front my eyes ..

From the countless treasure of her , i pick up one such wonderful day which happens to be my first guru poornima with her in her physical presence and i have a picture of the same day its from the year 2006 Guru poornima at Iowa..

This Year amma is in US and she is in Boston today ..

Today I am reminded again that when a satguru like amma, gives a mantra, she gives it with a powerful sankalpa, that it will benefit the receiver.

The satguru makes a commitment to lead us to the goal of human existence.

I see the commitment from her side all the time , but where is my commitment ???

as i ask this question, and before i go to the guilt trip ...suddenly, i remembered something that i was reading in the book, " Eye of Wisdom" where swami ji had written that amma is in the mother form where she doesnt put us through stringent tests, because she knows that most of us would not pass the tests, amma understands the nature of the world and also the nature of the human beings, their attitudes and habits, In todays worls, spirituality is difficult product to sell, she makes a joke and says, even if the god was himself offering enlightement to us when we were watching our fav TV show, we might Say, Oh God this thing will not be aired again, You are eternal, would u mind coming back later ??
There are many things in the world which compete for our attention, so amma is actually offering a package deal, when we go to amma with a desire or a problem , she helps us to fulfill our desire or helps us solve the problem and at the same time she will slowly help us to turn our mind towards spirituality
Its difficult to promote good things to our mind ,
But Amma makes her products - LOVE- COMPASSION and SERVICE -- so IRRESISTIBLE !!

Presence of master will create conducive environment to manage our minds which is one of the basic principles of spirituality..

Thank you for the gift of you, may your love and grace be bestowed on all ...

May all the beings in world be happy and at peace :)

Wondering soul in the journey called Life, wonders if its soul will reach its ultimate goal, will he be able to know its true self.

Guru kripa hi kevalam ... guru kripa hi kevalam ... guru kripa hi kevalam ...

Om Amriteshwaryee Namah

kabhi kabhi -- jaane tu ya jaane naa

I had been humming this song yesterday .. so went ahead and listened to it ...
liked it the way its written the way it starts and ends ..

so here is the song from the movie jaane tu ya jaane naa ..

Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Zindagi Me Yun Hi Koi Apna Lagta Hai
Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Woh Bichad Jaye Toh Ek Sapna Lagta Hai
Aise Me Koi Kaise Apne Aansuon Ko Behene Se Roke
Aur Kaise Koi Sochle Everything Gonna Be Okay

Kabhi Kabhi Toh Lage Zindagi Me Rahi Na Khushi Aur Na Maza
Kabhi Kabhi Toh Lage Har Din Mushkil Aur Har Pal Ek Saza
Aise Me Koi Kaise Muskuraaye ,Kaise Hans De Khush Hoke
Aur Kaise Koi Sochle Everything Gonna Be Okay

Soch Zara, Jaane Ja, Tujhko Hum Kitna Chahte Hain
Rote Hum Bhi Agar Teri Aankhon Mein Aansun Aate Hain
Gaana Toh Aata Nahi Hai Magar phir Bhi hum Gaate Hain
Hey, Aditi, Maan Kabhi Kabhi Saare Jahan Me Andhera Hota Hai
Lekin Raat Ke Baad Hi Toh Savera Hota Hai

Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Zindagi Mein Yun Hi Koi Apna Lagta Hai
Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Woh Bichhar Jaye Toh Ek Sapna Lagta Hai
Hey, Aditi, Hans De Hans De Hans De Hans De Hans De hans de Tu Zara
Nahi Toh Bas Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Muskura

Tu Khush Hai Toh Lage Ke Jahan mein Chhaiye Hai Khushi
Sooraj Nikle Baadalon Se Aur Baatein Zindagi
Sun Toh Zara Madhosh Hawa Tujhse Kehne Lagi
Ke Aditi Woh Jo Bichadte Ik Na Ik Din phir Mil Jate
Yeh Aditi Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na Phool phir Khil Jate Hain

Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Zindagi Me Yun Hi Koi Apna Lagta Hai
Kabhi Kabhi, Aditi, Woh Bichar Jaye Toh Ek Sapna Lagta Hai
Hey, Aditi, Hans De Hans De Hans De Hans De Hans De hans de Tu Zara
Nahin Toh Bas Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Thoda Muskura

रुक गया आँख से बहता हुआ दरिया कैसे

रुक गया आँख से बहता हुआ दरिया कैसे
गम का तूफ़ान तो बहुत तेज़ था ठहरा कैसे

मुझको खुद पर भी भरोसा हो नहीं पाता
लोग कर लेते हें गैरों पे भरोसा कैसे

हर घडी तेरे खयालों में घिरा रहता हूँ
मीलना चाहूँ तो मिलूँ खुद से में तन्हा कैसे

ओर भी अहल-इ-खिरद अहल-इ-जुनून थे मौजूद
लुट गए हम ही तेरी बज्म में तन्हा कैसे

Liked this gazhal today when i was watching a show on you tube , It was sung so well ..

touched me somewhere and that why its here !!!

though i dont know who has written it .. the only thing i found was its sung by Ghulam Ali ..though i have to hear it to appreciate it further ..

for the time being the words are good enough for me !

A Blink .. an end to the dayz story !!

yup its right ...

a blink .. can be a big thing ...

i just saw it .. right when my expt was abt to get over ...

the electricity went off ...

it was just like a blink .. for a sec or so ...

and there goes my dayz efforts .. down the drain ....

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...........

why ????????????????????????????????..

they say grad school teaches a lot of things ...

yup ..

i guess my lesson for the day ...

take things as they come ... if a blink can put an end to a story ..

Don't get discouraged ..
Get up !!!
make a new start ...

start a whole new experiment ...
yup 6more hrs of labor ....

Get Going ... GOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Love is ...

I remember this lovely quote and it always attracts me since the first time i saw it in a wedding card of an ex- lab mate.

Always wondered if we humans can do the same and much more today.

May be its the time to remind me of the same quote !

"Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

दील घबराए जब काम थाप पड़ जाए

जी हाँ
दील घबराए जब आपका कम ठप पड़ जाए
वह भी तब जब गर्मियाँ आयें
साथ मैं RA बनने की खुशियाँ लायें
कुछ अछी रिसर्च करने का सपना दिखलायें
दील मैं ढेर सारा उत्साह ओर उमंग भर जाएँ
तभी आपए साल भर अछी चलने वाले यंत्र ख़राब पड़ जाएँ
तो दील क्यों न घबराए
क्या चौथे साल मैं भी होगा यही अन्याय
हाय हाय ...



when the summers arrive, they bring new hopes and aspirations into the life of a graduate assistant who remains teaching assistant for the whole year ... but its only summers when the person gets to be a Research assistant,
the person comes of the teaching mode to the research mode
finally starts thinking like a scientist
has goals and plans to accomplish them
but
right then the instruments on which the research is dependent starts showing their loyalties
yah they start messing up and screwing the life
as if there are less things in life already to make it that way

well hoping the dummies will work and things will be back to the happy mode

wandering soul
wanders a lot :(

~ 'Dream On…..' by Aerosmith.

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through...


~ 'Dream On…..' by Aerosmith.

ज़िंदगी से यही गिला है

ज़िंदगी से यही गिला है मुझे
तू बहुत देर से मिला है मुझे

हमसफ़र चाहिये हूज़ूम नहीं
इक मुसाफ़िर भी काफ़िला है मुझे

तू मोहब्बत से कोई चाल तो चल
हार जाने का हौसला है मुझे

लब कुशां हूं तो इस यकीन के साथ
कत्ल होने का हौसला है मुझे

दिल धडकता नहीं सुलगता है
वो जो ख्वाहिश थी, आबला है मुझे

कौन जाने कि चाहतो में फ़राज़
क्या गंवाया है क्या मिला है मुझे

रचनाकार: अहमद फ़राज़

what a beautiful nazm, some one dear had given this to me,I had liked it then also,but it has become more precious with the passing time,

ज़िंदगी से येही गिला मुझे भी है
पर फिर ज़िंदगी का शुक्रिया भी है

देर लगी आने मै तुमको
शुक्र है फिर भी आए तो

में जहाँ रहूँ

A beautiful song, very well sung and love the music and lyrics :)
Its from the movie Namaste London .. liked it the first time heard it while watching the movie and today after many days listened to the same...

मैं जहाँ रहूँ,मैं कहीं भी हूँ
तेरी याद साथ है

किसी से कहूँ, के नही कहूँ
यह जो दील, की बात है

कहने को साथ अपने एक दुनीया चलती है
पर चुपके इस दील में तनहाई पलती है

बस याद साथ है,
तेरी याद साथ है
तेरी याद साथ है

मैं जहाँ रहूँ, मैं कहीं भी हू
तेरी याद साथ है

कहीं तो दील में यादों की, एक सूली गड्ड जाती है,
कहीं हर एक तस्वीर बहुत ही, धुधाली पड़ जाती है,
कोई नई दुनिया के नए रंगो में खुश रहता है,
कोई सब कुछ पाके भी यह मन् ही मन् कहता है

कहने को साथ अपने एक दुनिया चलती है
पेर चुपके इस दील में तन्हाई पलती है

बस याद साथ है
तेरी याद साथ है
तेरी याद साथ है

कहीं तो बीते कल की जडैं दिल में ही उतर जाती हैं
कहीं जो धागे टूटें तो मालाएँ बिखर जाती हें
कोई दिल मैं जगह नई बातों के लीये रखता है
कोई अपनी पलको पर यादों के दीये रखता है

कहने को साथ अपने एक दुनीया चलती है
पेर चुपके इस दील में तनहाई पलती है

बस याद साथ है
तेरी याद साथ है
तेरी याद साथ है

Hey shona .. song of the day !!!

Listened to this song in the morning
I am listening to the same song again ..when i am almost set to wind up my day ...

Hey Shona is the song of the day ....

like it even after listening to it at least eight times !!! strange ..

so here are the lyrics for the same ....

Parameter Value StdErr CV(%) Dependencies
y0 4.606e+5 7.937e+2 1.723e-1 0.8109088
a 3.168e+5 1.023e+3 3.229e-1 0.6797669
b 2.479e-2 2.229e-4 8.989e-1 0.7230377
oops ...
these are my results ...
yah thats what happens when u play with numbers all day all week long ...

Finally the lyrics are here !!!

तुमहें पता तो होगा, तुमही पे में फीदा हूँ
तुमहें है जबसे चाहा, हवाओं में उड़ता हूँ

तुमही मेरे हर पल में, तुम आज में, तुम कल में
हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना....

तुम्हे पता तो होगा के मेरे दील में क्या है
चलो कहे देती हूँ, कभी नही जो कहाँ है
तुम्ही मेरे हर पल में, तुम आज में, तुम कल में
हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना....

तुम जो गुस्सा भी करो तो मुझे प्यार लगता है जाने क्युँ
में तो जो भी कहूँ तुम्हें इकरार लगता है जाने क्युँ
छोडो भी ये अदा, पास आके जरा, बात dil की कोई कह दो न
हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना....

सारी दुनिया को छोड़ के मैंने चाहा है एक तुम्हें
मैंने जिंदगी से माँगा है तो सिर्फ माँगा है एक तुम्हें
अब इसी चाह में, अब इसी राह में, Zindagibhar मेरे तुम हो ना
हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना...

तुमहें पता तो होगा, तुमही पे में फ़िदा हूँ
तुमहें है जबसे चाहा, हवाओं में उड़ता हूँ
तुमही मेरे हर पल में, तुम आज में, तुम कल में
हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना....
शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना, हे शोना.......
हे हे इय इय इय इय हे हे हे हे......

the song is from the movie Ta ra rum pum,
lyrics by Javed Akhtar, music by Vishal-shekar

Friday ...

It started with a 6.10 am alarm
finally getting up by 7.00
getting an unexpected wake up call at 7.10
read the paper ..
rushed to school picked up the unexpected caller
reached just at time ti recieve the high school students
started my work
took the kids around,
fascinated them with chemistry
got clicked
had my fav pizza as lunch
went for journal club
attended another seminar got bored till 2
got missed call from unknown
made phone calls which got missed ..
started some more work
someone needed some help
in the end here i m at home in the afternoon
filling my blog !!!
the day is not over my dear ...
its friday .. lots to do .. lots to go for ..
GO girllllllllllllllll

why do i fear ?

I experienced something today as i did last week and i had felt the same few months and almost a year back. I had almost forgotten that i had experienced something like this before and how scared was i ? asked the writer to herself...

She had got so busy in her life and work that she didn't even remember that this person exists, till she saw him last week near the water fountain and he just walked towards her from nowhere, when he walks he looks straight and he has no expression on his face only his eyes turn to the side .This look makes her paranoid, her body gets chilled and its very very very scarry ..

She had left that floor last Wednesday as her is in one corner of the hallway and there was no one in the lab that day. She went to the floor where there were people whom she knew and it was awkward for her to just go and talk to people randomly and start talking for no reason in the end she told the reason why she was with them, she spent some half an hour just to make sure that this man had left the floor and as expected by the time she returned he was not there and she wasn't scared anymore..

Today again he entered her lab from no where, she was not alone this time, she had two of her friends talking to her and two other people and still the way this man looked at her, did the same thing, she was scared again ! She even asked her friend not to leave till this man leaves.

This man is fifty plus , is a janitor, doesn't talk to anyone may be doesn't speak English thats what everyone thinks but almost a year back he talked to her and she said hi to him as a casual thing and smiled as she does to any other person but the fear started when he told her that she looks beautiful in the picture that hangs in the corridor amongst all the people and of all the people he knew her name and told her the same, she was shocked but couldn't have done much about it, after that day he freaks her out..

but ...

What do i fear ? why does he seem creepy to me ? why do i feel this way ???

The Rose

Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, that leads your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, and endless aching need
I say love it is a flower and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance
It's the one, who won't be taken who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been to lonely and the road has been to long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose.

Barbara Streisand